The first fight in a relationship may seem like a real catastrophe. It may feel hurting and even disgusting. It is like wearing pink glasses and then shattering them for no reason. The outcome of the first major fight in a relationship may be unpredictable, so you will never know what is waiting for you after the yelling bouts. The war of words usually means that the honeymoon phase comes to its logical end. An example of a turning point is the first fight in a relationship. However, that is not as bad as you think. Overall, arguments are a sign that both partners are real people, they have their wishes and expectations regarding their love affairs. So, how to survive after the first serious clash? Keep reading to have a better glimpse into the matter.
Possible Reasons for the First Big Fight in a Relationship
Depending on a couple and the level of their connection, there can be different reasons for the first big fight in relationship. Based on The Guardian article, couples who argue effectively are 10 times more likely to build healthy bonds than those who hide their problems under the carpet. So, having an argument isn’t necessarily the reason to break up. Here are the most widespread reasons for having your first fight in a relationship:
- You feel fearful of losing your partner.
- You start living together and experience issues in household chores.
- One of the partners doesn’t devote enough attention to the relationship.
- You or your partner have too high expectations about your connection.
- There are too many arguments related to the activities you do together.
- One of the partners (or both) is too addicted to alcohol.
Typically, the average time for first fight in relationship is from several months to one year. Everything depends on the partners’ temper and the feelings they experience.
What’s Next After the First Fight in Relationship?
When should you have your first fight in a relationship? You will definitely experience it sooner or later. However, it is advisable to fight for tightening your bonds instead of bickering with each other. Agree, it is always better to discuss 25 sex positions for the best sexual Intercourse rather than exchanging insults. You should also remember that the first quarrel is only the beginning of your disputes, so you will need to survive it with dignity.
When a loving couple has their first big fight in relationship, they start a new paragraph in their interaction. Therefore, you can check out whether your feelings can handle the obstacles and whether you are ready to dedicate time and effort to fill the possible gaps in your connection. Consider the first substantial difference of opinion as a perfect chance to strengthen your bonds. Thus, you will change your relationships for the better.
9 Top Tips on How to Smoothen Your First Fight in Relationship
Rather than undervaluing each other and dealing with a war of insults, you will need to smoothen your argument. In this case, you will have a higher chance to reach a consensus and overcome possible obstacles to your happiness. Being armed with these handy tips, you will have an opportunity to survive your clash and make it up as soon as possible.
1. Avoid exchanging messages at the moment you are mad
It is probably the worst idea to solve the issue by exchanging texts. If the conflict burns out when you are apart, it is better to wait for the meeting and discuss possible issues face-to-face. You can’t convey a tone in writing, so your partner can simply misunderstand you. Leave texting and sweet words to make her wet and hot for you easily rather than scandalize and sort things out. When you have the first fight in relationship, it is better to talk in person while making eye contact.
2. Think about your partner
When you argue about something, you should put yourself in the shoes of your partner. Think about the feelings and emotions your partner experienced during your discussion. Are you saying offensive words? Do you compromise right away? Are you mad with your partner during your discussion? If you answer “Yes” to at least one of these questions, you will need to carefully analyze your behavior. If you are egoistic, you don’t contribute to your relationships, which may have negative consequences.
Try to look at the situation from a completely different angle and make interaction with your partner smoother and gentler. Even if you face serious issues, a constructive conversation is far better and more productive than quarreling and finding out the relationship. If you focus only on yourself, most likely, you will behave selfishly and egocentrically. In case you think about your partner first, you will become more supportive which will result in a stronger connection between you two.
3. Don’t even try to choose the best time
Is it normal to not have your first fight in a relationship? Of course, not. If something goes wrong, you should discuss it here and now, without delaying your conversation for the better moment. The biggest mistake here is to act as if nothing happens. Suffice it to say, it is better to experience the burst of emotions rather than being afraid of awkward silence. The sooner you talk about your issue in greater detail, the more positive impact it will have on your bonds.
It is necessary to resolve the issue to bring your relationships to a new level. As soon as the conflict is settled, you can enjoy your interaction tenderly and with an even greater affection. So, don’t postpone a serious conversation with all the ensuing consequences since the game is definitely worth the candle.
4. Operate with facts
Since both men and women may be rather emotional and talk about things that have never happened, your argument may come to a standstill. That is why you will need to look at each other’s eyes and talk with real words without concocting fiction. If you have several facts up your sleeve and can skillfully operate them, it will certainly be beneficial for your relationships. Forget the first fight in a relationship quotes and come up with more constructive things. Therefore, you will hardly hurt your partner and will never regret making up the lies.
Even if your partner is shouting at you, you will need to be wiser. Avoid reacting aggressively, just respond to the questions calmly and silently. If you operate with facts during your discussion, you will notice that you have various views on the same situation. Once you see both perspectives, you will be on the right way to resolve your conflict. Don’t make a drama by figuring out how to handle the first fight in a relationship. You just need to highlight the most essential aspects of the discussion and avoid creating fake scenes in your mind.
5. Smoothen it up
Sometimes it is necessary to provide a magic action to reach a compromise. However, such phrases as “I apologize” or “Let’s calm down” don’t usually work when the emotions are running high. Each couple has its own way to smoothen up the situation. Some people will сool down when their partners offer them a romantic evening with candles, while others prefer a movie night while holding hands. Think about what magic action will work for your partner and direct your high emotions in the right direction.
6. Let all the offenses go
Numerous people apologize during conflicts, but it doesn’t mean they are sorry for anything. Rather than forgiving their significant others, people often hold grudges which will result in negative consequences later. Dealing with the first fight in a relationship means working with your emotions. In this case, it is better to forgive your partner and let all the negative experiences go. Try to erase bad memories and fill your heart and mind with positive energies.
The worst thing you can do during your argument is to reveal all the bothers and worries that you save in your soul. It will work like a fountain of emotions and, most likely, you will make your conflict even more severe then. Don’t harbor anger, resentment, bitterness, or other negative feelings long after your soulmate since it will hurt you both sooner or later.
7. Be a good listener and a bad speaker
Sometimes it is good to listen to your partner more and speak less when in relationship first fight. Once you learn to listen to your significant other, you will find the consensus faster and more effectively. On top of that, it is advisable to pay attention to the body language of your beloved. The gesture may say numerous things about your partner. If you survive your first fight by understanding the words and gestures of your soulmate, all the subsequent arguments will be a breeze for you.
8. Be honest and open-hearted
Don’t be afraid of feeling vulnerable during your clash. Showcasing your weak points doesn’t mean that you grovel. Instead, therefore, you show your real feelings towards a partner. Don’t wear masks or play games during the argument. Try just to be yourself — sensitive, loving, or whatever you are. Sometimes sincere feelings can do much more for your connection than hiding the emotions. Just keep this tip in mind and answering the question “How to handle your first fight in a relationship” will be easier than ever for you.
9. Think about aftercare
Consider the things that happen after your first fight in a relationship. Will you and your partner be in a good mood? Will you have sex or just drink coffee in the kitchen? The point is that each argument requires aftercare. This will help you make things up and show that you appreciate your partner. Sometimes long-lasting cuddles are enough to give extra care to your partner. Some couples practice mutual activities. Overall, everything depends on the power of your connection and the type of people you are. Keep in mind that the aftercare works well if there are no grudges up your sleeves. It should be sincere.
When do you have your first fight in a relationship? Each couple answers this question differently since all of us live our own lives. It is impossible to avoid arguments between partners. Otherway, your relationships seem to be unnatural. The main thing here is understanding that the negative emotions will go away and you can enjoy your connection with your partner with full force. Use the tips above and survive your first fight without negative aftermath. Agree that it is better to bring love rather than experience constant yelling bouts.
Davis Mike, a renowned author and expert on relationships. With over 20 years of experience in the field, Mike has helped countless individuals and couples navigate the complexities of modern relationships.
Mike’s interest in relationships began during her undergraduate studies in psychology, where he became fascinated with the dynamics between people in romantic partnerships. After completing her degree, he pursued a master’s in counseling and began working as a therapist, specializing in relationship issues.
Over the years, Mike has honed her expertise through her work as a counselor, researcher, and writer. He has conducted numerous studies on the psychology of love and has published several academic articles on the topic. Her research has also been featured in popular media outlets, such as Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, and The New York Times.
Mike’s passion for helping others extends beyond her clinical work. He has authored several books on relationships, including the best-selling “Navigating the Complexities of Modern Love” and “The Art of Communicating in Relationships.” Her books provide practical advice and insights for anyone seeking to improve their relationship skills.
As a sought-after speaker, Mike has given presentations at national and international conferences, sharing her expertise with fellow professionals and the public alike. Her warm, engaging style has made her a favorite among audiences, and he is frequently invited back to speak at events.
Whether working with clients one-on-one, conducting research, or sharing her knowledge through her writing and speaking engagements, Mike’s ultimate goal is to help people build healthier, happier relationships. With her vast experience and deep understanding of human relationships, Mike is a trusted authority on the subject, and her insights are invaluable to anyone seeking to strengthen their connections with others.