BDSM Relationship: Sex and Submission in Your Relationship

If you are an aspiring BDSM relationship lover, you may want to explore more about this type of intimate connection. A Durex survey found that 20% of respondents globally acknowledged having dealt with this practice. Nevertheless, don’t confuse yourself by thinking that a BDSM experience is what you see in Fifty Shades of Grey. This is an entire subculture that implies a lot more than ropes, whips, and sexy costumes. So, what is a BDSM relationship, and how to bring your intimate experience to the notch? Scroll down to discover the reasons people get involved in this practice and effective tips on how to make the best use of your BDSM ventures. 

Why Do People Like BDSM?

To understand why people use sex and submission in their intimate affairs, it is better to rely on the opinions of experts and real experiences. We analyzed numerous research and scientific works, as well as posts from real people on Quora, to shed light on this topic in greater detail. 

• Numerous experts point out that when BDSM is practiced consensually, relationships can be happy and healthy. Famous relationship therapist Esther Perel emphasizes how BDSM can free people — especially women — from daily obligations and let them concentrate only on their pleasure by allowing them to explore their erotic desires in a safe setting​. 
• Lexa Michaelides’s opinion on Quora states the reason that BDSM relationships help enhance intimacy and overall connection with a partner. Whether people want to spice up their everyday routine or start such a connection deliberately from the very beginning, it is the way they can express themselves and strengthen the bonds. Other people support Lexa’s opinion that it really works. 
• The research indicates that a lot of individuals implement this subculture in their lives since they believe that BDSM relationships can offer significant psychological and relational benefits to both subs and doms. A lot of people consider that they can become more physically and emotionally stronger while making BDSM their 24/7 activity. By the way, numerous users on Reddit support its point of view as well. 
• Numerous BDSM lovers hold the opinion that this practice helps them relieve stress. Indeed, for many, BDSM works just like a magic pill. After the session, the participant may feel satisfied and calmer. There is also a scientific explanation of this point. Activities involving pain or intense sensations can trigger the release of endorphins, creating a natural high. 

How to Find a BDSM Partner?

If you are all about exploring all the boundaries of your power dynamics in the sexual contest, you may wonder how to find a BDSM partner. Indeed, those who want to achieve the best experience possible should approach the aspect of choosing a partner with caution and wisdom. Here are the top tips that will help you make a formal decision when it comes to creating a BDSM couple that will shine with extraordinary ideas and mutual satisfaction. 

• Search for your partner on dating websites. 56% of avid BDSM participants say that they find their partners on dating sites. The pro tip: you will need to identify your relationship goals in your profile and decide whether you are going to be submissive or dominant. 
• Join local BDSM groups. It is a perfect way to give a high stream to your BDSM relationship. Find local groups related to kink or BDSM. These organizations frequently host social events, workshops, and get-togethers where like-minded people can mingle. 45% of BDSM partner-seekers have success in such groups. 
• Go for social media and forums. You can meet a lot of like-minded people who are searching for BDSM games for couples on Instagram, Facebook, Quora, or Reddit. The only point to bear in mind is that such websites incorporate a lot of scammers, so you will need to take caution, especially if you use video chats for intimacy. 

🥰The best way to find a BDSM partner is to approach reputable dating sites. They incorporate safety measures and well-elaborated means of communication to ensure a secure and effective experience for potential partners. 

5 Steps on How to Get into BDSM

Are you new to BDSM for couples? Then you will definitely need to do your homework and learn 5 steps to get immersed in this culture. Get your game on by using these tips and you will see that there is no need to put much effort into making your intimate ventures vibrant. 

📚Explore the topic of a BDSM relationship 

The theoretical part is probably the most essential since it will give you a deeper glimpse into possible practices in BDSM, props, and experiences. Pick up some books by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, such as “The New Topping Book” or “The New Bottoming Book.” These are like guides for newbies. Check out dedicated articles, forums, and dedicated copies. They incorporate a ton of information to help you understand the basics and beyond. Therefore, you can be better than just a newcomer during your first session. 

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨Find your partner

We have already discussed this aspect, but it is important to be double-mentioned. Determine your BDSM relationship goals and expectations from your partner. Make sure that you don’t require anything extraordinary. Then proceed with the most optimal way to search for the person you can share your kinky aspirations with. Take time to get to know each other better before taking any action. It is essential to have high-quality sessions where everyone can achieve their goals. 

🗣️Leave room for communication

A constructive BDSM talk is a cornerstone to vibrant sensations and meaningful memories if you are on the lookout for a long-term partnership. Talk about boundaries, safe words, and limits in private before the main action happens. Effective communication can’t be compromised. Make sure everything is consensual and you both tick the same fields in the BDSM-to-do list. 

Always discuss and agree on what’s going to happen beforehand. Discussing safe words, aftercare, and basic safety protocols is a must. Also, it is necessary to agree on how you are going to organize your BDSM bedroom. Knowing the ins and outs of safety gear like cuffs and ropes is no less crucial. Take all those factors into consideration when having a word with your partner. 

💥Margaret Cho’s (comedian and actress) opinion about BDSM relationships: There’s something about BDSM that allows people to be their true selves. It provides a safe, consensual environment in which to explore the darker, more profound aspects of our psyche.

😍Go for experiments and exploration 

There is no one-way-to-stick rule in the BDSM culture. If you want to take full advantage of your experience, you will need to experiment, explore, and come up with new submissive and dominant sex ideas. Learn new techniques in specifically designed BDSM workshops. By the way, it is a perfect way to enlarge the circle of your acquaintances among like-minded individuals.  

It is also possible to play around with different roles (top, bottom, and switch) to see what floats your boat and makes you both aroused. It’s all about discovering what you love. Also, it is crucial not to rush things up. Start with a little bit of bondage or sensory play and observe your feelings. It is not necessary to jump straight into the heavy stuff. Let it flow step-by-step! 

🔥Adjust to your partner and improve your sessions

The final step in getting immersed in a BDSM relationship is to learn to listen to your partner and fine-tune your session so that you both feel comfortable and satisfied. Take time to reflect each time you go out of the bedroom. Discuss what worked and what did not work with your partner. Feedback is gold, especially when it comes to such a piquant topic. Identify BDSM signs that both of you find negative and unacceptable. Be ready to adjust to your partner. The core of BDSM is adapting and figuring out what suits both participants. Be flexible and open to changes.

💯BDSM topic has frequently been featured in Madonna’s songs and videos. She has stated in interviews that BDSM can be a very effective tool for exploring and expressing people’s sexuality. 

Main Rules for BDSM: Do Right Things

Your kinky experience will hardly be successful if you don’t stick to the rules for BDSM. This activity implies exploring the boundaries of your strength, both physical and psychological, so following the regulation promotes healthy connection and a higher satisfaction level. So, check out the rules and negotiate them with your partner before starting your extraordinary journey. 

1. Create a consent form for your couple. It should be straightforward, without including any ifs, ands, or buts. Everyone who is involved in this practice has to be on board with the current situation. Create a sort of guidebook for your couple with all the rules explained accurately so you can follow them throughout your BDSM commitment. 
2. Incorporate a pre-game talk into your routine. Who knows? Maybe one of you has some extra ideas concerning your next intimate session. Why not discuss it beforehand? Maybe your partner can complement your aspirations and you can both enjoy a wow outcome. If someone is not feeling it, decide on a safe word that will end the session. “Red” means stop, and “yellow” means slow down. 
3. Double-talk about safety. Most likely, you have a particular props kit that complements your intimate experience. Know how to use any equipment, including toys, ropes, and more complicated gear. No one wants a fun session to end in an emergency. Be aware of the risks and play safely, regardless of the tricks you apply during your kinky night. 
4. Note hard and low limits. You can literally write them on paper and read them before each session. Every person has boundaries, and mutual respect is of high importance. Learn the no-go zones of your partner and don’t cross them. Therefore, you can build trust and develop your BDSM connection in the right direction. 

Summing-Up: Is BDSM for Couples a Good Idea or Not?

Are you going to give BDSM a try? You and your partner may have an incredible experience when you explore a BDSM relationship. But before you jump into this journey blindly, make sure you understand what you are going to go through. To have a successful experience and the best satisfaction possible, you will need to honestly talk with your partner and prepare for your sessions properly. Lastly, whatever you do, make sure you are establishing a respectful, safe, and consensual environment based on conversations and agreements that are comfortable for both parties.