How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship: Signs and Tips

Trust is the most essential ingredient that holds all relationships together. It’s the bond that allows partners to feel safe, connected, and vulnerable with each other. However, when trust is broken, it hurts both partners and leaves them uncertain about the future.

Unfortunately, disloyalty affects around 20-25% of marriages. Moreover, 82% of people had been misguided by a romantic partner at some point. The good news is that rebuilding trust in marriage is possible. We can choose to take a chance and start believing again, though.

If you want to discover whether you have any problems with trust, as well as practical tips to rebuild trust in a relationship, then we are ready to help with this. Start your journey to strengthen your connection with your partner.

Main Signs of Losing Trust in a Relationship: Determinate it Quickly

Rebuilding trust takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. If you feel there are some issues with trust in a relationship, here are some main signs to pay attention to:

• Partners stop sharing thoughts, feelings, and important details about their lives.
• Lying about anything, no matter how tiny. People can suspect you of lying about other things when they catch you telling even tiny lies.
• If one partner consistently fails to keep their word, it can make you feel like you can’t rely on them.
• Excessive jealousy and accusations of wrongdoing can create an environment of suspicion and mistrust.
• Disrespectful behavior, such as criticism, insults, or ignoring boundaries, can be a reason for broken trust. 
• Emotional or physical betrayal is a major problem in trust issues that can be extremely difficult to overcome.
• Withholding crucial information can distance you from the other person and make them feel excluded.
• If one partner consistently refuses to be emotionally vulnerable, it can be a barrier to trust development.
• Lying about finances or making major purchases without discussing them are red flags.
• Previous experience of trust issues that haven’t been properly addressed makes it difficult to regain trust fully.

10 Steps on How to Trust Your Partner Again

A few studies showed that only about 15% of couples can successfully overcome the situation after breaking trust. However, those who handle it report having a more bouncy connection than ever before. We’d like to outline 10 essential steps that will bring you closer to working on problems and trusting each other again.

1. No one is perfect. No matter who is guilty of breaking trust, they need to take full responsibility for their actions and realize their mistakes. 
2. Understand that forgiveness takes time. You need some time to think and sort out your feelings. 
3. Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings because you are afraid to offend your partner with your sincerity. You cannot change your disappointment and you should not hide it.
4. Discuss how you see your future together. Discuss which actions you do not want taken toward you and which boundaries you would prefer your partner not to cross. 
5. Be there for your love when they need it. Supporting your partner is what you need to do for successful trust building for couples. 
6. While it’s natural to have doubts or triggers from the past, you need to figure out what you are most afraid of and why. 
7. Make an effort to focus on the present and positive changes in your relationships. This will give you an incentive to move on.
8. After all, you need to believe in yourself to make any changes. Despite the bad experience, you need to boost your self-confidence and give love another chance. 
9. The next step is to work on creating new positive experiences together. New memories will remind you that you are capable of having a happy relationship.
10. If nothing doesn’t work for you, maybe you should ask for the help of a therapist who can guide you through your situation. 

Things to avoid

Avoiding destructive actions is important if you attempt to trust your partner again:

1. Don’t try to seek revenge. This makes trust nearly impossible to re-establish.
2. Ultimatums and demands also don’t work in this situation.
3. If you shut down emotionally or put up walls, it will block intimacy.
4. Considering yourself the constant “victim” is not right, as you also cause some reasons for mistrust.
5. Don’t make threats to leave the relationship unless you plan to follow through. 

When Is it Impossible to Regain Trust? — Common Scenarios

It is generally difficult to fix the situation when trust is broken. However, the possibility depends on the specific circumstances and the actions taken by the couple. Let’s review some common scenarios where it can be challenging to rebuild trust in a relationship: 

1. In cases of trust issues in romantic relationships, rebuilding it can be extremely difficult. The abuse of emotional trust makes it hard to believe the other person again, even if they make efforts to change.
2. It may be almost impossible to take action when there is a financial reason for mistrust, like fraud or theft. 
3. If someone has a long history of lying, breaking promises, or being unreliable, it can be challenging to trust them again. A pattern of betrayal can create a sense of doubt and skepticism.
4. It can be hard for the other partner to have faith that a partner who has battled addiction and failed miserably despite promises to get help will stay clean. It might be hard to win back trust without a sincere commitment to healing.
5. In some cases, the problems may be so bad that they cause total damage to the relationship. For example, there are not too many couples that regain trust after cheating on their partner with someone else. 

It’s important to note that a relationship without trust don’t work. Even if it seems impossible in some scenarios, it’s worth fighting to save the feelings for each other. 

Why It’s Better Not to Regulate Trust After Cheating?

If you try to force or regulate trust through strict rules, it often ruins the organic process needed for real healing within the relationship.

1. Only consistent actions of one’s own will can make a person trust someone. Otherwise, it can create an environment of suspicion.
2. Offering strict conditions for rebuilding trust after betrayal may cause the partner to get caught up in a problem rather than move forward to fix it.
3. If a person feels overly restricted, they may be tempted to engage in further dishonest behavior to avoid consequences and your reaction.
4. For the partner who cheated, being controlled doesn’t let them fully take responsibility for their actions and change their behavior to rebuild trust.
5. If you put too much pressure on your partner, it gradually leads to damage to their self-respect. 

Final Thoughts

It’s quite challenging to rebuild trust in a relationship but it’s an achievable process. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded. You have to learn how to fix trust issues, creating an environment where it can gradually flourish again. The decision to move on from a distrustful relationship lies with each partner. However, those willing to overcome the path to honesty and commitment shouldn’t give up.